Monday, November 28, 2005

Fat

Today i taught my three year old daughter a new word. Fat. Yep. I didn't call her that, mind you; she's not and i would never ever EVER do that in any case, no matter how heavy she could ever be. But, this evening i was getting dressed to go out, and in a fit of hormonal pique i blurted out 'Ugh, i just look so fat and horrible'. Now, normally, even though i am about fifty pounds overweight, i don't feel that way about myself. Sincerely, i love myself and the body that i find my soul in, these days. But the one time i didn't censor myself, she picked it right up. Of all the unfortunate things my daughter has ever heard me say (and believe me, to my shame, there have been plenty), this was one i thought i could always keep myself from letting out. We work really really hard at encouraging her to understand that everybody and every body are different but equally as wonderful and special. She, being the age she is, often points out with painful accuracy that a person is dressed 'funny' or that they have a physical disability. It bothers her when men have long hair, even though we explain over and over that both men and women can have long or short hair, whatever they choose. Anyway, i digress.... but my God, i never wanted her to learn that word from my mouth. She immediately understood that it was an ugly and insulting word. I told her that mom shouldn't have said that about herself, and i never EVER want to hear it come out of her mouth about anyone at any time. Who wants to nominate me for mother of the year, hmmmm?

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